Wednesday, February 9, 2011

O’Reilly’s Pub: “The Pepper Burger”

That’s right burger heads, two posts in one week!

ATTENDEES:
The Columbus Burger Bum, Pickley Pete, Kaiser Permente, The Anit-Burgite, Lame Jeremy aka “Special Sauce” aka the “Hoth snow monster” aka “Seasonal GT”

PREFACE:
The night before I had this particular burger, I had a dream.  In it, I was middle aged and slept in my wrangler jeans.  Still dreaming, I wake up at 5 am and head to work on a road crew, jack hammering concrete in the morning, steam rolling asphalt in the afternoon, and smoking Camels in between.  When the steam horn blew at 4:00 PM I hopped in my Ford Ranger, cranked up ACDC’s “Highway to Hell” and headed to my favorite watering whole for a burger and a beer….or two…or three depending on who I ran into and what kind of stories we would be trading off.  Sadly, I awoke before I got there.

The next day, awake and sitting at the computer, I emailed the boys to let them know that tonight we were headed to O’Reilly’s Pub in Clintonville.  “Time to finish up that there dream,” I said.

BURGER:
When it comes to the Pepper Burger, the bottom line is this:  If you’re a man, and you like doing man things, then you’ll like this burger.  This “manwich” if you will, is a half pound of beef cooked in a healthy portion of black pepper.  Accompanying this patty and adding to the smoky flavor of the sandwich is both bacon and provolone cheese.  Served with a side of sweet potato fries and a cheap beer, this meal was enough to put you out of commission for a STYX song or two (which DID play on the classic, non-digital jukebox).

For starters, as soon as I sat down in the undersized, beat-up booth, caught a hint of pre-ban smoke smell, and looked at the list of simple yet satisfying beers, I decided to leave extravagance and complexity in my car.  I ordered a Miller Lite and got into “kick-back mode".  I had a menu in front of me, but based on what I’ve heard, the choice was easy.  For as long as I’ve been in Columbus I’ve heard mention of O’Reilly’s Pepper Burger and that is what I was going to have.

The sweet potato fries were fairly good, though came piled not-so high.  However, the special sauce hit hard.  Very spicy and full of flavor.  And maybe it was good that the fires were a smaller proportion because it left much needed room for the burger.

And the burger!  Fantastic.  The patty was a succulent hunk of beef trapped within a black pepper crust, crackling with heat and zest and delivering the perfect post 9 to 5 kick at the end of a long day.  The downside was that the black pepper was so potent that it took away from some of the succulent meat flavor that immediately followed.  But wait; I’m going to reverse the downside into an upside and tell you that in between bites I was uncovering hints of crisp hickory bacon and cool, smoky provolone cheese, a superb combination that has been unequaled to this point of my hunt.   As stated above, this burger is NOT for the faint of heart.  To quote Mugatu (sort of), The Pepper Burger….”So hot right now”.

RUN DOWN:
Proportion: 1
Flavor: 1
Meat: 1
Secondary Ingredients: 0
Bun: 0
Fries: 0
TOTAL: 3

ATMOSPHERE:
In a small bowl combine 2 parts Cheers, from the television show “Cheers”, 2 parts dive bar from the original “Rocky” and 3 parts truck stop diner.  Let stand for 20 minutes.  Whisk in 2 tsp. old fashion tools to adorn the walls, 3 Tbs. classic rock on an old school jukebox and 1 whole cigarette dispenser.  Cook at 350 degrees for 10-15 minutes, or until awesome.  Serve with exceptionally friendly waitresses and enjoy!

ADD CO.’s (additional comments):
This was my favorite burger night yet.  Please check out O’Reilly’s Pub!

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Barley's Brewing Company: "The Bob Barley"

ATTENDEES:
The Columbus Burger Bum, Pickley Pete, Lame Jeremy

PREFACE:
“Oh the weather outside is frightful, but the fire is so delightful, and since we’ve no place to go”… let’s go get a burger and a beer.

BURGER:
Few things fend off the frigid cold weather of the Midwest like comfort food (besides maybe a first class ticket to Southern California or a job in a green house).  On this particular night, I decided to venture out to one of Columbus’ best breweries, one which is recommended by both beer and burger connoisseurs a like – Barley’s Brewery Co.

A quick note for those of you who accidentally stumbled upon my blog because you were doing research on poverty statistics in the capital city and are annoyed because you're also infected with a disease that prevents you from eating red meat; Barley’s makes some GREAT beer.  My beer of choice this evening was their Scottish Ale.  It has a medium body, a maple and caramel flavor, and is very easy to drink.  There's also a lack of alcohol presence, which could mean trouble when drinking a beer with an 8% ABV.

So, the burger.  I gave it a 4.   See you next week!

Alright, so I’m not that cruel.   The burger was great.  If it were a car it would have a license plate that read Hot N Swt and sesame seed racing strips along both sides.  The driver would be the Jamaican relish, the radio would be controlled by the fresh pepper jack cheese riding shot gun, and the back seat would be jam packed with loud, crispy onion straws.  These combinations came together perfectly to compliment the flavor of the meat.  Though, I must add, that after seriously discussing the meat content with Pickley Pete, we think the patties may have been frozen (like fast food frozen) beforehand.  I mean, the flavor was still superb, though the meat was cooked slightly longer than I’d prefer, it just had a texture to it that hinted at “prefreeze”.

Topping off the unique blend of ingredients were your traditional pieces of lettuce and tomato and all were sandwiched between (as used in the metaphor above) a sesame seed bun that was both firm and crisp and had obviously been thrown on the grill while the burger cooked, something that all chefs should be doing, in my opinion.

All in all, the burger delivered both the rush required to warm the bones on a cold winter’s day and the satisfaction to crave a sweat tooth still lingering from the holidays.

And the fries, you ask?????  Perfect.  Nothing special or crazy or out of this world.  Just perfectly fried with a perfect thickness.

RUN DOWN:
Proportion:  1
Flavor: 1
Ground Beef: 0
Bun: 1
Secondary Ingredients: 0
Fries:   1
TOTAL:  4

ATMOSPHERE:
What can I say?  It was a brewery with a warm atmosphere and friendly staff.

ADD COs:
You can buy growlers of beer.  For those of you who don’t know, and I didn’t either, a growler is basically a bottled beer to go.  They come in different sizes, but I believe the growler that Barley’s offers are about a half gallon and yes, you can fill it with any of there brews.